15/04/19
DIY penis enlargement surgery is sweeping throughout Papua New Guinea

Apparently a load of men from Papua New Guinea have been left unable to have sex and attempting to perform their own DIY penis enlargement surgery! 

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Doctors from Moresby are concerned about the dangerous epidemic sweeping the country which has so far seen at least 500 people turn up at the hospital. 

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A bunch of men between the ages of 18 and 40 have been injecting shit like coconut oil, cooking oil, and silicone into their dicks in a bid to enlarge them. Here’s what surgeon Dr Akule Danlop had to say about it: 

I have seen five new cases every week for the past two years and these are the ones that have come forward for treatment. We don’t know how many of them are out there, I saw seven today.
 
This has sadly had a devastating effect on the penile health of these men. Out of the 500 treated over the course of the past two years, 90 men have needed surgery to treat abnormal swelling or repair damage. Some of these men may be unable to have sex again.
 
The bulk of them have abnormal, lumpy masses growing over the penis and sometimes involving the scrotum. A good number are coming in with ulcers; they eventually burst open.

Some of them have difficulty urinating because the foreskin is so swollen it cannot contract. Predominantly they regret what they have done

 
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Eeesh, sounds horrific. I think the moral of the story here is to leave your junk alone and be happy with what you’ve got. If you’re Mrs is still happy to take a pasting from you, be grateful!  

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