Guy throws Jizz all over a woman is Asda car park
Imagine going out to do your weekly shop and end up covered in some random blokes spunk. Pretty grim right? That's what one poor woman had to deal with during a recent trip to Asda.
56-old Samuel Reid has just been handed an eight month jail sentence after he was found guilty of throwing a vial of semen over a random woman in Milton Link Asda in Edinburgh last month. Apparently he parked up next to her, rummaged around in the boot and then threw his test tube of jiz over her. Grim.
The woman was obviously shocked that some random dude had thrown 'liquid' at her that she asked if he had spilt something, but he flat out denied it and drove off. It was only after her jumper was DNA tested that it was discovered that Samuel had lobbed a load of spunk at her. During his trial, Samuel said it was all a huge misunderstanding and that he was on his way to the doctor with a vial of semen when he accidentally leaned on the vial in his boot and knocked it over the victim by mistake. Damn, that's a rather elaborate and totally bullshit excuse. Sheriff Peter McCormack said this about the verdict:
I am more than satisfied in this case there is no other appropriate disposal other than imprisonment.It concerns me you have not admitted what you did and you have been unable to offer any explanation as to what you did. What you did was to make a quantity of your semen and wait at the Asda car park and target a lone female who was packing shopping into her car. By means unknown you threw the quantity of semen over this woman onto her jumper. I am satisfied you did not directly masturbate on to her, given the evidence.Your excuse for you actions has to fall in the top two in my legal career of the most lamentably unbelievable defence evidence I have ever heard.
It's all pretty fucking murky. His explanation was kind of hilarious though.
